Almost 40. Single, childless… and still figuring it out.

Almost 40, Single, Childless & Still Figuring it Out!

I did a mini-series before called 30+ lawfully single, childless and still figuring it out. And can you believe it? I’m almost 40… and the tagline is still the same.

A lot has changed since that 30+ phase. A lot. And honestly, all for the greater good.

But the truth remains: I’m nearly 40, single, childless… and still figuring it out.

There are so many moving parts to this season, but if I’m being real, the part that consumes me the most is the figuring it out.

For a long time, my life was defined by my job title and my pay-check. Thankfully, I’ve found my identity in Christ. But if I’m honest, that truth doesn’t always weigh as heavily as it should when I’m dealing with the realities of everyday life.

Some things have happened that completely turned my world upside down, things out of my control. And my natural instinct is to take the reins, to regain control and determine my own outcome.

But my spirit keeps reminding me: cast your fears and anxieties onto Him, and peace will follow.

Even with that, action is still required and I’m not afraid of that. But right now, I feel like I’m in a state of wonder.

It’s like I’ve spent the last 10 years shopping, browsing, selecting, even committing and somehow, those purchases have all been refunded.

No warning. No explanation.

Just… reversed.

Now I’m back in the store. But it’s so big, I don’t even know where to start.

I know I’ve been blessed with gifts and talents. I’ve had the opportunity to use many of them. But now, I’m not quite sure which path to take—for real, for real.

I’m trying not to get caught up in society’s definition of success or the pressure from my own flesh, but it’s hard. It’s hard to go from thriving to striving, while still choosing to be grateful for the life I’m blessed to live.

Building a career I was proud of didn’t happen overnight. It took years.

I remember working in retail management and meeting someone who, when she found out what I did, couldn’t hide her disapproval. She spoke about her role as a social worker with pride, and in that moment, I felt… small.

And it stayed with me.

Retail was never the plan. But managing people, building teams, transforming spaces—those were things I grew into. Things that required resilience, discipline, and strength.

It may not have been what I dreamed of as a child, but it shaped me in ways I can’t ignore.

Right now, the “single and childless” part doesn’t even get much airtime, because the still figuring it out part feels so much bigger.

My life shifted because of decisions that weren’t mine. And now I’m in a place where I’m trying to figure out direction again.

It’s not all doom and gloom.

It’s just… a puzzle I’m working through.

So I’m going to keep writing through this. Keep moving forward. And maybe, as clarity comes, those other parts will have space to breathe.

And truthfully? I’m not overly worried about being single or childless.

I believe love will come.

And the children part… that will happen in its time. Or it won’t.

Either way, I trust that peace will be my portion.

For now, I’m here.

Almost 40.

Still figuring it out.

Marina